Postpartum weight loss is one of the most common struggles after birth—but it’s rarely just about the weight.
It’s been months—or even years—since you gave birth.
You’ve adjusted to naps, night feeds, schedules, and routines.
But something still feels… off.
You wake up tired, even when your child finally sleeps through.
Your body feels unfamiliar. You feel scattered, maybe a little numb.
You miss the version of yourself who had more energy, confidence, freedom—even just clarity.
You love your child deeply. But you wonder:
When do I come back?
If that feels true, you’re far from alone.
You’re not the only one
The majority of moms still feel disconnected from themselves long after the newborn stage ends:
• A study published in the Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America found that approximately 75% of women were heavier one year postpartum than they were before pregnancy. Postpartum weight loss remains a struggle for most even a year in.
• What to Expect reported that 70% of moms felt unhappy with their body even after three years postpartum
• A 2022 BabyCenter report found that 22% of moms identify as “just mom,” having lost touch with their identity outside parenting.
This isn’t about bouncing back—it’s about adapting to an entirely new identity. And it takes time. Postpartum weight loss is often tied to deeper emotional and psychological shifts, not just diet and exercise.
What “not feeling like yourself” really means
For many moms, it’s not just about appearance. It’s about energy, identity, and mental clarity.
You may feel:
• Physically unfamiliar in your body—softer, weaker, less agile
• Emotionally drained—more reactive or flat
• Mentally foggy—forgetful or overwhelmed
• Disconnected—like your old interests, routines, and personality are buried under the day-to-day
Psychologists call this transition matrescence—a major developmental shift in the brain, identity, and priorities during motherhood (Sacks, 2017). It’s normal, but rarely talked about. If these feelings run deeper and interfere with daily life, you might be dealing with more than just fatigue. You can read more in my post Breaking the Silence: Navigating Postpartum Anxiety & Depression, and How to Get Help!.
Why it’s so hard to feel “normal” again
Even when your baby is sleeping and the chaos slows down, you may still feel off. Here’s why:
• Sleep deprivation changes your brain chemistry, increases cravings, and reduces motivation (Walker, 2017)
• Chronic stress raises cortisol, which affects mood, weight, and focus (Epel et al., 2000)
• Mental load—the constant invisible work of motherhood—leaves little energy for yourself
• Loss of time and autonomy can make you feel like your own needs don’t matter
All of these affect postpartum weight loss, not just mentally but hormonally and behaviorally. This isn’t about willpower. It’s about biology, environment, and expectation overload.
You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel better
Instead of chasing your “pre-baby” self, focus on small actions that help you reconnect with your current self.
Research shows that:
• Tiny, consistent habits are more sustainable than big lifestyle overhauls (BJ Fogg, Tiny Habits)
• Identity-based habits (“I’m someone who cares for myself”) are more effective than outcome-based goals (James Clear, Atomic Habits)
Social support improves motivation and well-being in moms struggling with body image, fatigue, and postpartum weight loss (American Psychological Association, 2011)
If you’re in the early weeks, my Healing After Birth Guide: Self-Care from Hospital to Home offers practical tips to support recovery while adjusting to life with a newborn.
And if you’re breastfeeding and unsure how to safely manage your weight, check out How to Lose Weight Postpartum While Also Breastfeeding for evidence-based strategies that support both your body and your baby.
And if your core still feels weak or separated, you might be dealing with diastasis recti. Here’s How to Fix Diastasis Recti: 5 Best Exercises to Heal Abdominal Separation to guide your recovery safely and effectively.
Start with small shifts:
• Take 10-minute walks for energy and clarity
• Add more water, protein, and fiber to your meals—not to lose weight, but to feel steady
• Say no to things that drain you
• Reclaim a moment of joy—music, journaling, or just doing nothing
• Talk to others who get it
Final thoughts
If you don’t feel like yourself yet, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because you’re still in a process of becoming.
You’re not behind—you’re rebuilding.
You don’t have to wait to “bounce back” or hit a postpartum weight loss goal to start feeling good in your body, your mind, or your life.
You can start today, with one small, kind step toward yourself.
Sources
• Liu, J. et al. (2015). Factors associated with postpartum weight retention at 1 year. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America.
• BabyCenter (2022). State of Motherhood Report.
• What to Expect (2021). Postpartum Body Image Survey.
• Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep.
• Epel, E. S., et al. (2000). Stress-induced cortisol secretion and central fat.
• Sacks, A. (2017). The Birth of a Mother.
• Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits.
• Fogg, B. (2019). Tiny Habits.
• American Psychological Association (2011). The role of social support in behavior change.