First days at home with a newborn. Do you need help?

My Own Experience

Being a first-time mom, I didn’t know what to expect. To the point that even in the hospital, both my boyfriend and I pressed the emergency button when the baby cried. We had no idea what to do.

Do You Need Help?

Absolutely! During the first days at home, we were lucky to have a night doula. Expect to feed the baby every 2 hours, day and night. If you plan to exclusively breastfeed and not pump for the first 4 weeks, this will be hard on you because you can’t sleep much. I was like a zombie, unable to distinguish day from night. The baby doesn’t know when it’s day or night either. Keeping them in daylight during the day helps their circadian rhythm kick in.

Must-dos prior to the baby arrival

Make sure you have all this checklist done so you’ll be prepared when first at home with the baby.

What to Expect in the First Weeks

Here are some key things to expect in the first few weeks with your newborn:

1. Frequent Feeding: Newborns typically need to eat every 2-3 hours. This can be very demanding, especially if you are breastfeeding. Each feeding session may take about 20-45 minutes.
2. Sleep Patterns: Newborns sleep a lot, usually 14-17 hours a day, but their sleep is broken into short periods. They might only stay awake for 30 minutes to an hour at a time.
3. Weight Changes: It’s normal for newborns to lose some weight in the first few days after birth, but they usually regain it by the end of the second week.
4. Developmental Milestones: Your baby will have longer periods of wakefulness as the weeks unfold. Initially, take advantage of their sleepiness to rest when they do.
5. Health Monitoring: Regular pediatrician visits are crucial. The first visit typically happens within a week after birth to monitor weight gain and overall health.

What Kind of Help to Get?

For me, the night doula was the most helpful. Here’s what she did:

• Night Doula Duties: The night doula brought the baby to me every 2 hours for feeding. After each feeding, she took care of burping, changing, and soothing the baby back to sleep, which allowed me to get some much-needed rest between feedings.

Sleeping and feeding schedule

Here is a detailed article for the sleeping and feeding schedule.

Where does the baby sleep?

• Baby slept in the nursery, her own room, but always supervised. At the begging we had the night doula every night there, then we took turns, between my boyfriend, my mom and me and occasionally the night doula.
• According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), it is recommended that infants sleep in the parents’ room, close to the parents’ bed, but on a separate surface designed for infants, ideally for the first year of life, but at least for the first six months. Room sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. The AAP also advises that the baby’s sleep area be free of soft objects and loose bedding to reduce the risk of suffocation, strangulation, and entrapment [Parent guide for safe sleep, How to Keep Your Sleeping Baby Safe: AAP Policy Explained]
• If your baby sleeps in a nursery room but someone is there to supervise, it can still be safe as long as the sleep environment is set up correctly. The AAP guidelines emphasize that the baby should always sleep on their back on a firm, flat, non-inclined surface, free from soft bedding, pillows, and toys. Additionally, having a reliable baby monitor can help ensure you can keep an eye (and ear) on your baby from another room. (When can baby sleep in another room)

Additional Support Options

1. Family and Friends: Having a support system of family and friends can be incredibly helpful. They can assist with household chores, cooking, or simply holding the baby while you rest.
2. Daytime Help: A postpartum doula or nanny can assist during the day, helping with the baby and allowing you to nap, shower, or eat in peace.
3. Lactation Consultant: If you’re breastfeeding, a lactation consultant can provide invaluable support, helping you with latch issues, feedings schedules, and any concerns you may have. I was lucky to have covered by insurance inhome visits. They showed me proper latching techniques. I was in pain when baby latched on the left side. The lactation consultant showed me the proper holding and latching technique and I had no problem since. If you live in San Francisco, Natural Resources offer in person group lactation support for just 15$/h. I went once – these are amazing. Some quick adjustments can save you lots of pain.
4. Meal Delivery Services: Consider using meal delivery services or preparing and freezing meals ahead of time to reduce the stress of cooking.
5. Join a Support Group: Whether online or in-person, support groups for new parents can offer emotional support and practical advice from others who are going through the same experiences.

Tips for Managing the First Days

• Accept Help: Don’t hesitate to accept help from those who offer. It can make a big difference in your recovery and well-being.
• Prioritize Rest: Try to rest whenever you can. Sleep deprivation can take a toll, so use any opportunity to catch up on sleep.
• Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Keep snacks and water handy. Proper nutrition is essential for your recovery and milk production if you’re breastfeeding.
• Be Kind to Yourself: The early days with a newborn are challenging. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself.

Conclusion

The first days at home with a newborn are a whirlwind of emotions, sleepless nights, and constant feedings. Having help during this time is invaluable. Whether it’s a night doula, family, friends, or other support options, don’t hesitate to ask for and accept help. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job, and it’s okay to rely on others to get through this challenging but beautiful time.

You got this, mama!