When I decided to stop pumping, I thought it would be a relief. After exclusively breastfeeding for five months, then supplementing with formula, and finally switching to exclusively pumping at 11 months, I was exhausted. Pumping had taken over my life, and I was desperate for a break. So I stopped cold turkey, hoping to reclaim some normalcy. What a mistake! A sudden hormonal crash hit me like a strong wave. This is when my postpartum anxiety (PPA) started.
Overnight, my world turned upside down. I felt an overwhelming sense of worry—about my baby, about myself, about everything. My mind raced constantly, and even during those rare moments when my baby was peacefully napping, I couldn’t sleep. For months, I tried to solve it on my own. I convinced myself I could handle it, ignoring my own needs and prioritizing my baby’s. I refused to ask for help, feeling like I had to be strong and self-sufficient.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. The anxiety cast a shadow over what should have been joyful moments. It was isolating, and I felt ashamed for struggling when I believed I should have it all together.
Eventually, I couldn’t ignore the signs any longer. I sought help and started medication and therapy, which improved my condition substantially in just a few weeks. It was like stepping out from a dark tunnel into the sunlight. The support I received made a world of difference.
I hope my story will create awareness and let moms know that PPA or PPD is a normal state and that there are places where you can get help and get better.
Stories from other Moms
In my search for understanding postpartum anxiety, I spoke with other moms. Their stories reminded me that I wasn’t alone—and their insights might resonate with you too. (Note: fictive names to keep their privacy.)
Amanda: The Constant Worrier
“When my baby was 6 weeks old, I couldn’t shake this feeling that something terrible was going to happen,” Amanda shared with me. “I’d wake up in the middle of the night just to check if she was breathing.” Amanda’s worry turned into intrusive thoughts that felt impossible to control. “It got to the point where I couldn’t even enjoy holding her because I was so scared.”
What helped Amanda: Therapy and practicing mindfulness techniques. “Mindfulness helped me stay grounded in the present and reduce my anxiety,” she said. “It’s a process, but it works.”
Jessica: Sleep-Deprived and Burnt Out
Jessica laughed when I asked if she ever prioritized herself. “Self-care? What’s that?” she said. “I thought being a good mom meant doing everything myself. I barely slept, ate junk, and ignored how bad I felt.“
How Jessica found relief: “My husband sat me down and said, ‘You need help.’ Therapy and support from my family changed everything. I learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but of strength.”
Sarah: Guilt and Overwhelm
Sarah shared how guilt fueled her anxiety. “I felt like I was failing constantly. If my baby cried, I blamed myself. If I didn’t feel joy 24/7, I thought I was a bad mom.”
Sarah’s breakthrough: Joining a local mom’s group. “Hearing other moms say they felt the same way lifted so much of the guilt off my shoulders. We support each other and it’s made a huge difference.”
If you want to share please write to me about your experience.
Postpartum Depression (PPD), Postpartum Anxiety (PPA), and Baby Blues
Baby Blues
The “baby blues” affect up to 80% of new mothers (source: Cleveland Clinic). They typically occur within the first few days after childbirth and last about two weeks. Symptoms include mood swings, crying spells, and feeling overwhelmed, but these usually resolve without medical intervention.
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)
Postpartum anxiety affects 10% of new moms (source: PSI). Symptoms include:
- Excessive worry about the baby’s health or safety
- Racing thoughts or inability to relax
- Trouble sleeping, even when the baby sleeps
- Physical symptoms like a racing heart, nausea, or dizziness
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
PPD affects 1 in 7 mothers (source: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists). Symptoms include:
- Persistent sadness or hopelessness
- Difficulty bonding with the baby
- Lack of energy or interest in activities
- Thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby
If symptoms of PPA or PPD last more than two weeks or interfere with daily life, it’s important to seek help.
Why PPA or PPD Happens?
There are several reasons why PPA or PPD might occur:
- Hormonal Changes: After childbirth, the levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone drop rapidly, which can affect mood and emotions.
- Sleep Deprivation: Caring for a newborn often means getting less sleep, which can exacerbate anxiety and depression.
- Lack of Support: A lack of emotional or practical support from family and friends can make it harder to cope with the demands of motherhood.
- Personal or Family History: Women with a personal or family history of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions are more susceptible.
- Stressful Life Events: Major life changes or stressful events during or after pregnancy can contribute to PPA or PPD.
- Body Image Issues: Changes in body image and physical health can impact a mother’s self-esteem and mental well-being.
More on hormonal changes:
I plot here on a graph the levels of the hormones that are involved during pregnancy and postpartum calling out 2 important moments: birth and weaning (at 11 months postpartum since this is what I did). You can see how the hormones plunge after birth and also even more after weaning with an increase in Cortisol level.
After weaning: hormonal changes and mental impact:
- Prolactin and Oxytocin Drop: These hormones, linked to calmness, bonding, and well-being, decrease significantly after weaning. This can contribute to mood swings, anxiety, sadness, and feelings of detachment.
- Estrogen and Progesterone Fluctuations: As these hormones return to pre-pregnancy levels, they can cause mood changes similar to PMS, including irritability and low mood.
- Cortisol Increase: This stress hormone often rises after weaning, potentially leading to increased anxiety, irritability, and difficulty sleeping.
- Endorphin Decrease: Lower endorphin levels can contribute to a decline in mood and a reduced sense of well-being.
Overall: The combined hormonal shifts after weaning can negatively impact mood, increase anxiety, and make it harder to cope with stress.
What to do to prevent PPA or PPD?
Taking steps to care for yourself during and after pregnancy can help reduce the risk of PPA or PPD:
- Gradual Weaning: Instead of stopping breastfeeding or pumping suddenly, gradually reduce the frequency to allow your body to adjust hormonally.
- Prioritize Sleep: Try to rest whenever your baby sleeps. Consider asking for help during the night to get longer stretches of rest.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or support groups. Having a strong support system can make a big difference.
- Stay Active: Gentle exercise, like walking or yoga, can improve your mood and energy levels.
- Healthy Eating: Maintaining a balanced diet can help stabilize your mood and provide the energy needed to care for your baby.
- Practice Self-Care: Taking time for yourself, even for a few minutes a day, can help you recharge and reduce stress.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that it’s okay to have bad days and that you don’t have to be perfect. Motherhood is challenging, and it’s important to be kind to yourself.
How to get Help?
Therapy and Counseling
- Postpartum Support International (PSI): Offers a free helpline and online support groups.
- BetterHelp: Online therapy that matches you with licensed therapists.
- Talkspace: Online therapy with licensed therapists.
- Lyra: through your workplace you might have already access.
Helplines
- PSI Helpline: 1-800-944-4773 (text or call)
- National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-943-5746
Support Groups
- Mothers Offering Mothers Support (MOMS): Local and virtual peer support groups.
- La Leche League: Support groups for breastfeeding mothers.
- Facebook Group: Postpartum Depression and Anxiety, Postpartum Anxiety Support Group, Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Anxiety Support Group ,Postpartum moms and more…
Books and Resources
- Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleiman
- The Postpartum Husband by Karen Kleiman
- This Isn’t What I Expected by Karen Kleiman and Valerie Raskin
Share Your Story
Postpartum anxiety and depression are topics that often go undiscussed. Many people hide their struggles and feel ashamed. But know that you are not alone. If you want to share, please write to me about your experience, and I’ll include it in this article.
The more stories we share, the more we can show others that it’s okay and normal to feel this way. Together, we can create a supportive community that brings light to these common, yet often hidden, experiences.